If you’ve been in a relationship for an extended period, you’ve likely experienced the dryness and boredom that can happen. No matter how committed or in-love we are, relationships require sustaining and cultivating to remain positive and intimate.
Like nature, our relationships go through seasons in which they feel in full bloom, new and exciting, and through seasons in which they feel cold and dormant. Also like nature, relationships require nourishment and attention. You cannot buy a luscious tree in full bloom and without sunlight or water expect it to blossom for years to come. As right as it is, the plant still requires sustainment and cultivation. We are wise to notice the season of the relationship and care for its needs which are in constant flow.
Intimacy is the space we share with another person, mutually honoring the unique beauty of the most honest parts of ourselves. It is the experience of being seen, known, and honored for who we are. Here are a few ways you can cultivate positive intimate relationships.
- Practice Non-Judgmental Listening
Feeling understood is a powerful tool for intimacy. Practice listening fully without thinking about what you might say next or considering other perspectives. Encourage your partner to share their fears and desires.
- Connect Through Eye Contact and Synchronize the Breath
Practice communicating without words. Connecting through the eyes and breath brings us into the present moment, putting disagreements in perspective.
- Play
Set the shoulds and the pressure aside. Access the enjoyment you experience with that partner without the prerequisites. Do something for the pure purpose of pleasure. The shoulds and pressure will always be there when you’re done, but you’ll likely have a different perspective by then.
Though it can be uncomfortable, intimacy is worth the work. It feeds our purpose and aliveness. We thrive in positive intimate relationships. Contact The Lovett Center confidentially to learn more.
About the Author:
Veronica Welch’s focus is to partner with clients as they build resilience and rediscover their desire- both sexually and otherwise. She believes resilience roots best in a foundation of pleasure and especially enjoys working with feminine empowerment. She often uses embodiment practices, breathwork and meditation to accompany the traditional therapy approaches of Gestalt and CBT.
Robert is deeply committed to serving others and is passionate about hope and despair in clinical treatment. With over 20 years in addiction and mental health, he has experience in private practice, clinical supervision, and program management, co-founding The Lovett Center and Ethos. He earned a Master’s degree from the University of Houston’s Graduate College of Social Work, which honored him as a 50 for 50 Alumni in 2019. His education includes fellowships at the Center for Psychoanalytic Studies and The Menninger Clinic, where he held leadership roles and received the Menninger Clinic Pillar Award for Integrity. The Houston Business Journal recognized him as a 40 Under 40 Class of 2018 Honoree.
